Another low low.

Today's been the worse day this week. It's tuesday and I have more work than I even know how to get done. Trying to study for this stupid test on the Qur'an and reading the most disgusting book by Myhre about myths and inclusivity and pluralism and just straight up ridiculousness is killing my convictions. The last thirty minutes I've been super angry and just want to take all my anger out on someone. I've been cursing in my mind about how bad I want to make someone's life miserable and just put a grip of pain in them. Though I'm a pretty weak guy, when I'm mad I could probably hurt just about anyone. I'm feeling pretty faithless right now, listening to blink 182. But I think about the apostles and the epic things that they did as a result of seeing the miraculous Jesus raise from the dead. I want a zeal like that, I've had a zeal like that. Just last night I was preaching the word at USD and down to talk to anybody...basketball players, football players, anyone! It was an encouraging night. I had a fairly awkward conversation with Lisa though and I just don't know. I've been kind of faithless with that whole thing, doubting myself, being REALLY hard on myself. My expectations for my life are out of this world. If i'm not perfect than I'm failing in my mind and I always forget how beautiful grace is. Though we've had various lessons on living like your forgiven and grace I just get ridiculous sometimes...IT SUCKS! anyways I got about 50 hours worth of studying the Qur'an so PEACE!