You are amazing. Words cannot explain my deep admiration for your majestic being. People say you don't exist, but its so obvious! I can see you working powerfully, and your presence is within me. They say miracles no longer happen but thats because they don't allow them to occur. All we gotta do is genuinely ask you, but there isn't even enough faith to do that! Thanks for answering me, I understand I haven't won the lottery sometimes you say no because we don't need the dough. Thanks for giving me a brother though, he's worth more than every piece of jewelry, famous pottery, and cash money that ever existed. As the kid I was, not even a true disciple, I prayed every night because I just wanted him so bad. And you left me hanging for awhile with all those miscarriages but at the perfect moment my brother lived. February 24 1998 was the day and I was so happy. Life is so lovely. I can't understand why people still question your existence, its preposterous to claim such coincidence.
Thanks God for putting it in my head to go to Santa Barbara one boring Summer night just to party. Sometimes we have to get scared out of our mind in order to realize reality. And thanks for pain Lord, if I wasn't as hung over that wretched afternoon I might not have thought as deeply about who I wanted to be and how far I was from you. The wall was thicker than the thickest of all because solely showing up to church is worse than not coming at all. I'm sorry for faking people out, trying to fake you out, lying about my lies, and constantly changing the disguise. Who was I? Depends who you ask. I was many different people therefore I was no one. And it wasn't even fun. I was such a great pretender but always on the run. Running from myself or people catching on. Thanks for always knowing and showing me the truth. And thanks for giving me more than enough proof. Thanks for getting me caught and giving me the parents I have. Ones who care about me enough to teach me the most valuable lessons. Thanks for parents who care so much. I love them so dearly please give them the strength to finish this race strong so we can all be with you someday eternally.
If I'm not living for you at any moment please snap me back to reality, please just hurt me again, physically or mentally. Don't let me drift away I need you desperately. No matter what happens I want to labor for you like Paul. I want to suffer for you because I do not want this world to be my heaven. I want to know you, and I want to stop pretending to be fine. Too often I live like I'm some great divine being. But without you I'm just an organized pile of dirt, useless and weak no matter how many pounds I can tweak. And with you I can be anybody. thanks for my talents and all your creativity help me to shine like your stars only to bring you glory. Your the only one that deserves to be glorified if I get zero praise I will still be satisfied because I get to represent you, an ambassador to truth. I will never promote Satan's evil schemes again because sin is simply lies and deceit. When I fall down I will jump back on my feet because your worth fighting for!
Please help me to love Lord like I've never loved before. Help me to love people the way that you loved them whether their rich or their poor. If their hot or their not, if they make fun of me or love me back, if they smoke or have sex, cheat on taxes or rob banks, whether they pretend to go to church or not, if they strip off their clothes to make promiscuous videos or if they hide behind a computer addicted to pornography even if they hate me please continue to show them mercy. Even if they hate you help me to love them still. Because thats what we need to do. I just want to help them BEFORE they have to face you. Please don't let us die today because that would be too late. But help us to change our lives before that scary date. Please I don't want them to gnash their teeth in hell. If people don't rebel from sin that day they'll regret every decision they ever made to go against you.
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